who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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