Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
