She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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