Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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