I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
