Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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