marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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