Can i not drive my cunt home
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just want to make out with him forever
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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