it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
