I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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