you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
