my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
