I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Randomize
