the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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