Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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