Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
