saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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