Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Randomize
