remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
And then my night got REAL pukey
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
