i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize