Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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