What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
