So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Two words: nipple clamps
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