Me too!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
