Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
