New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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