Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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