You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
