You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just invented taco cereal.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize