i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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