He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
