there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
