I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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