it was like eating out sand paper
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize