and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
