this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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