Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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