Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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