I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
