just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
