is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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