so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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