yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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