This girl is more easily done than said...
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
