The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
