Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
