I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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