sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
