She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
