never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize