she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Four minutes until I can fart!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
