he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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