Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
