I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
this just has baby written all over it
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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