"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
This toilet bowl is my home.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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