They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
