I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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