He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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