I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i believe in u and ur pee
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
