how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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