you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
