Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
