shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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