come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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