okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
PANTIES FOUND
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