I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
