Sry I called you an 8
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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