Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
