so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
